Women’s Sacred Moments at Their Sacred Place

This past weekend was SpringHill’s first Women’s Retreat of 2012 and it was a great weekend on many levels. You see, our Women’s Retreat program, alongside Family Camp, is SpringHill’s longest running program. It’s literally a carryover from the early days when SpringHill believed it would become both a Christian conference center and a camp for kids.

But in the late 80′s and early 90′s SpringHill made the very intentional decision to focus its energy on child, teens and young adults, thus all the facilities have been design and built with young people in mind. As a result, many predicted the end of such programs as Women’s Retreats.

Well, 25 years later, Women’s Retreats continue to go strong and this past weekend highlights why. As I had lunch in the Dining Hall I listened to, and witness women, sharing with my wife Denise (our Women’s Retreat Coordinator) and Glenna Salsbury (our retreat speaker), how deeply impacted they had been by the weekend. And not just this past weekend, but many shared that SpringHill Women’s Retreat is their annual, sacred moment at their sacred place.

For example, Lisa approached Denise and I, and told us she just needed to come this retreat, she knew God was going to meet her here, so, although she couldn’t find friends to come with her, she came alone. Lisa said that as soon as she stepped on camp, God affirmed His presence and this theme of God’s nearest to her, was clear throughout the entire weekend, including through Glenna’s messages, in the breakout sessions, and in the women she met. There’s no doubt, by looking into Lisa’s eyes, she encountered Jesus in a life transforming way.

So Lisa, and so many other women, answered, in a very powerful way, why we still do Women’s Retreats at SpringHill, and why we’ll continue to do so for as long as God uses them to transform the lives of women.

Sacred Places

There are many places in the world that are grand, many more that could be described as stunning, and of course, the world’s full of historic sites. Yet there is only a hand full of places that one might call sacred.

Places become sacred because they have history, they’re beautiful, and most importantly, because something significant happens in the lives of people when they visit.

This past week I had the opportunity to stay at one of these rare and sacred places – WinShape Retreats, on the property of Berry College in the mountains of northern Georgia. WinShape Retreats occupies the old Normandy Dairy buildings built and used by Berry College students to study dairy sciences.

Even the bricks used to build all the Normandy Dairy buildings were produced by Berry College students in a brick factory donated by Henry Ford. Each building we toured oozed with history and beauty.

But it’s what’s now taking place in these buildings that’s moved this place from historic to sacred. You see, when Berry College made the decision to consolidate their dairy sciences program, and move it closer to campus, the Normandy Dairy no longer had a purpose.

In stepped the WinShape Foundation, led by the Cathy family, the founders and owners of Chick-fil-A restaurants. WinShape renovated all the buildings, turning this old dairy into a retreat center that offers marriage saving conferences, boys and girls camps, women’s and men’s retreats, and leadership summits.

Yet places become sacred through and because of people. People who’ve dedicated such places for grand and noble purposes, such as helping build strong kids, marriages and families. Our group experienced firsthand such people, the committed and talented staff of WinShape, who’ve made a historic dairy into a sacred place, a place where lives become transformed.

When Plan B is really the A Plan

Over the last couple of months our two oldest children, MD and Christina, have experienced the disappointment of being turned down for college jobs they really wanted. In walking with them through this process my wife Denise shared her own disappointment concerning a job she applied for in college.

During Denise’s sophomore year she decided she didn’t want to go back to her old summer job at the local K-Mart. Her A Plan was to stay on campus and become an orientation mentor for incoming students. It was a highly sought after job. But in spite of the competition Denise applied and went through the entire process before being told she would be an alternate.

Disappointed, Denise turned to her Plan B, which was to apply for a job as a counselor at a Christian camp near Evart, MI. Her good friend, Jodi Urban Blanchard, had been both a camper and a summer staffer and raved about the camp. So when Denise received the offer for the job by the program director, Mike Hollenbeck, she took it.

Well, you know the rest of the story. The camp was SpringHill, and it was during this summer that Denise and I fell in love with SpringHill and became good friends with Mark Olson (we were dating at the time so I’d come visit on her day off).

It was through our friendship with Mark that we continued our involvement with SpringHill, first as ambassadors and donors, then eventually, in 1998, going on full-time staff.

With hindsight we clearly see how God used this disappointment in Denise’s life to lead us to the place He wanted us to be and to do the things He planned for us to do. It was this lesson that she shared with MD and Christina – “God has a better plan for you, though you might not see it now, one day you may be able to look back and see your B Plan was really God’s A Plan.”

An Antidote to Signing Day

Jonathan

I began writing this post on the most overhyped and, in some ways, the saddest day in our sports calendar – the college football “signing day”, where kids become national heroes based on nothing more than their potential.

So as an antidote for yesterday’s craziness, here’s a snapshot of high school athletics which, no doubt, reflects the experiences of most student-athletes and their parents.

My wife and I have watched lots of high school basketball over the years, but this season has been one of the most enjoyable. The reason is, for the first time, we have two of our sons playing together on the same team.

Our sons, Mitch and Jonathan, play for the Northern Michigan Christian School’s junior varsity team. Mitch plays up front and Jonathan plays guard so they’re often on the court at the same time.

Seeing them interact in such a competitive, high pressure and public situation as a high school basketball game, tells us a lot about their relationship as brothers. And here’s what we seen – they’re completely honest in their communication with each other. We’ve watched them have intense discussions after a bad play in a way only brothers can and we’ve also seen them affirm each other after a good play with what can only be described as brotherly love (not a bad model for our working relationships).

Mitch

We’ve also have daily talks around the kitchen table about their team, the practices and the games. There have been challenges, heartbreak and victories, all of which they’re sharing together and we’re sharing with them as parents (what will I do in a few years when this is all over?).

So if you’ve been doubting the sanity of high school sports, remember ESPN has nothing on local, home town high school sports and the lifelong learning experiences they give young people like our sons Mitch and Jonathan.

It’s Not 1980 Anymore

It’s dangerous to clean your basement.  I was reminded of this fact in my recent purging. What did I find that was so dangerous?

Four old Steelcase chairs, the same model I use to assemble during the summers while attending college.

Why would 30-year-old chairs heavy enough to anchor a battle ship be so dangerous? Because, as with most things found buried in a basement, they brought back a flood of memories. And those memories got me to thinking about the world my kids are entering.

First for the memories; I had a great summer job, but not uncommon for 1980.

                I averaged between $9 and $10 an hour plus overtime, working 45 to 50 hours a week.

I received: holiday pay for the 4^th of July plus two quarterly profit-sharing bonuses

                I made nearly $7000 (the equivalent today of over $18,000).

                And college only cost me $3500 a year.

Now for the dangerous part – thinking about my kids and the world they’re entering.

There’s no summer job anywhere that a student can make $7000 let alone the equivalent of $18,000 that I made. Today, with a reasonably good summer job, a student might make $4000 to $5000.

The average cost for tuition and room and board of a 4 year public university is hovering around $20,000 a year.

Which means a student may need to finance up to $15,000 a year/$60,000 total for a college education.

The numbers say it all. It’s apparent the values and priorities of our country have swung from assuring our young people have the best chance of succeeding, to financing the lives of those who have already had their opportunities.

2012 provides us yet another chance to make the courageous decisions necessary for our kids and thus our future. I pray that we’ll be courageous once again.

Qualities of Trustworthy Youth Organizations

Denise and I hold two important, but at times conflicting, goals in raising our children. The first one’s simply to assure our kids have experiences that help them grow physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually and spiritually. Secondly, we want to do all we can to keep our kids safe and to protect them from the consequences of evil.

It’s when we need to entrust our children and their safety to those who provide them life transforming experiences that we can feel conflicted. We want to provide our children these experiences and at the same time assure their safety.

The best way to achieve both is to verify that the organizations we entrust our children to have the following three qualities.

Transparency

The organization and its staff are transparent. Transparency mean’s there’s nothing hidden about its history, operations, philosophies, track record and methods. Transparency also includes our child’s experience.

Accessibility

Related to transparency is accessibility. Organizations and staff are accessible to parents. In addition, if necessary, our kids are accessible when involved with the organization. We should expect our phone calls and emails to be returned timely as well as the opportunity to meet the staff when dropping off and picking up our child as well as any other time we want to interact with them.

Professionalism

Professionalism includes a broad range of key activities that we should expect from an organization and its staff including verifiable training, quality control, safety practices and policies that the staff know and demonstrate commitment to by their adherence to these policies.

These three qualities should permeate the entire culture of an organization as reflected in the staff, websites, promotional material and most importantly in their reputation.

With prayerful due diligence, we as parents, can reduce the possibility of any harm coming to our children and yet still provide them those formative experiences they so desperately need to reach their potential.

Focused Freshmen Bulldogs

Andrea and Christina

This past weekend was quite significant for our family. Denise and I dropped off our daughter, Christina, for her first year at Butler University where she’s in the Jordan College of Fine Arts majoring in Dance Performance.

We did all the typical tasks one does when dropping off a child at college. We put her room together, met and spent time with her new roommate Andrea, toured campus, attended events designed to welcome students and their families and went to the bookstore so I could buy a Butler hat.

During a “meet and greet” of department faculty, Denise, Christina, Andrea and I talked with one particular Ballet professor who asked Andrea “what’s your major?”

“Pharmacy” answered Andrea.

To which the professor said “well you will not seeing Christina during the day because she’ll be training.”

Andrea smiled and didn’t respond; she must have had that look that said “really, dancing all day long?” because the professor added…

Andrea and Christina embracing being Bulldogs

“You see, if you want to be a professional you have to be fully committed, you can’t work at it part-time just like you cannot work at being a pharmacist part-time. There’s no part-time training; one has to be fully committed full-time to achieve such a goal.”

I’ve replayed this conversation in my mind since that meeting and I’m convinced that what this professor said is absolutely true. Whether you are pursuing a career in the arts or the sciences, to become a true professional requires more than just a part-time effort.

The realization then set in – Christina and Andrea’s room will be one focused place for the months to come because these two women have serious goals of becoming professionals in their competitive fields. What a gift…to have such focus at the age of 18.

Celebrating My Parents 50 Years of Marriage

Our parents have blessed my brother, sister, me and our families in many, many ways. These blessings have formed us into the people we’ve become today.

This past weekend Mom and Dad blessed us once again as we celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. Blessed because they’ve become role models of what a marriage should and can be not just in the short-term but over a long life.

As I thought about their incredible accomplishment – 50 years of marriage – I asked myself a question. What can I learn from my parents and their marriage so Denise and I might one day have the same celebration? As I reflected on the possible answers I came up many things but a few that really stand out.

First, Mom and Dad have loved each other. But it’s more than just love because we know many people who’ve love each other but their marriages haven’t lasted anywhere near 50 years.

More than love Mom and Dad trust each other. Trust is a must in any relationship and it has to be trust that’s been built on consistency of behavior and agreed upon expectations.

They have shared values. Shared values are essential if any relationship has a chance of surviving the crazy world in which we live.

Mom and Dad are just plain committed to each other and to their entire family. This commitment lays the foundation that’s helped them over the years weather the storms of life.

Finally our Mom and Dad have faith in Christ and have lived it out through their marriage and their commitment to their family.

Now you see why the Perry family’s so blessed – to have living role models of what a marriage and family can be and to see the impact it can have for generations to come. It’s a gift of immeasurable value.

Already Looking Forward to My Next Birthday

My birthday couldn’t have been better. I spent it in a little cabin on a small island filled with wild blueberry bushes in the center of a lake in the middle of nowhere fishing for speckled trout and walleye with my three sons (the only place better for a birthday might be heaven).

We were on our annual fishing trip to Camp Anjigami and their Ogas outpost cabin in northern Ontario. As I sat down for breakfast on the morning of my birthday I couldn’t have been more content and blessed as I ate wild blueberry pancakes prepared by my sons while looking ahead to a day of trout fishing.

In reality this trip’s become a significant part of my life and one of the highlights of the Perry men’s year. It’s an annual ritual where we hang out, have fun, talk about life and experience God’s creation together – just the four of us. There’s really no other reason to make this trip each year.

But there are three other benefits that I count as a bonus:

First it provides a brief but needed change of pace after the intensity of 9 weeks of summer camp.

Second, I always find perspective being disconnected and away from the normal events of life while spending time with my sons.

Finally, there’s no other setting where I sense the presence of Christ in my life more than when I’m in His creation, away from it all. It spiritually nourishes my soul in a way that no other place does.

So as I read the words I’ve just written I realize that as long as we can plan this trip over my birthday I’ll always look forward to growing a year older.

Inspiration from Our 14-year-old Son’s Game Film Evaluation

“Dad can you take a look at this? I watched our basketball game against McBain and evaluated how I did” said our son Jonathan as he handed me a yellow pad of paper covered with notes about how he played (see photo).

As I looked closer it amazed and frankly impressed me that our 14-year-old son had taken the time to evaluate his performance with a level of detail and honesty I rarely see in most adults.

His evaluation included tallying how often he used each hand, charting his shots, keeping track of his “good passes” verses “bad passes”, his “hustle” compared to “lazy” plays and finally my favorite “good defense” verses “bad defense.”

In addition to the fact that Jonathan evaluated his entire game and not just his offensive output he also measured himself against a high performance standard. He’s clearly not satisfied with his play and wants to see where and how he can improve.

Since his game film evaluation Jonathan’s been at the gym every day, he’s watched a number of basketball videos and he’s even read a book about Pistol Pete Maravich. He’s committed to becoming better because he now sees where he can improve and has the vision and energy to do so.

As I’ve watched Jonathan over the last month I couldn’t help but reflect on the importance of regular and thorough self-evaluation in my work, family life, relationships and community involvement.

This reflection led to an evaluation of my own where I ask myself “what more could God do through me if I might only follow the example of my 14-year-old son who simply wants to be a better basketball player?”